I don't know exactly what I am to do. I hate resenting her but it is impossible not to when she refuses to acknowledge her part in all this. I am tired of everyone sweeping shit under the rug because it is easier than dealing with it.
My closest childhood friend, my aunt, my cousins. Everyone just pretends it didn't happen. They always have. I am not sure if they worry that somehow acknowledging my pain will cause more or if theres been so much time passed that they see no point but for years I have accepted every one's inability to say it out loud. I have to think it every day. Would it be so hard for someone to say I am sorry I didn't notice the signs and protect you? I'm sorry I blamed you for your mom going to jail for protecting your father? I'm sorry for blaming you for your grand mother dying from the stress? I'm sorry for telling my daughter not to speak to you because I thought you ruined my sister's life by telling? I'm sorry I stayed in the same house with you and never noticed the bruises on your body or the weird way you acted around your dad? All I need is one time for the people who were there to acknowledge what happened.
I don't know maybe I am asking for too much too late, maybe somehow this is all a selfish thought. No one owes it to me. I guess I just think it would be the right thing to do. The thing I would do and I guess I can't expect others to do something just because I would.