So I have been away for a little while and for that I am sorry, but my life has been full.
My mother is fucking crazy and It has been driving me crazy. Why did I ever think talking with her would be a good idea? She sends me on a roller coaster of emotions. Now after finally putting it all out there and yelling at her for 15 minutes, we went two months without speaking (never in person only by phone), just for her to finally call and spend 15 minutes talking about herself and not one minute asking about her 3 grandchildren! Constantly showing me that when it comes down to it she doesn't give a shit about me or her grand children. A simple waste of a person that I can't seem to let go of even though I lived 12 years without her just fine. I don't know why I can't just drop her like I would any one else who treats me this way. It makes me sick.
All I have when it comes down to it is my husband and children. Everyone else constantly proves to me that I am only worth their time when they either need something or need someone to walk over. This is why I have no friends. It's better to have no one than have people pretending they care when they don't. Why can't I follow this same thought pattern with my mother?